


good guys, bad guys (the only difference is the mask they wear)

by immahill



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Allison Hargreeves-centric, Angst, Gen, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Victim Blaming, as in Allison blames herself, yk if that wasn't already abundantly clear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27457582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immahill/pseuds/immahill
Summary: The Umbrella Academy were the good guys. The robbers, the school shooters, the terrorists, whoever it was they were fighting – those were the bad guys. Her siblings, Pogo, Mom, Dad, they were all on the right side of history. They had to be.Allison is one of the good guys. Right?–or–Allison Hargreeves has regrets.
Kudos: 14





	good guys, bad guys (the only difference is the mask they wear)

Allison used to love missions. The rush of adrenaline she got when it was clear her and her siblings had the upper hand, the guarantee they were going to win. The gratification that all their hard work had paid off, all the harsh training sessions weren’t for nothing. The validation and elation and pride when people clapped and cheered and praised them for conquering the bad guys.

Because that’s what they were. The Umbrella Academy were the good guys. The robbers, the school shooters, the terrorists, whoever it was they were fighting – those were the bad guys. Her siblings, Pogo, Mom, Dad, they were all on the right side of history. They had to be.

Allison is one of the good guys. Right?

Allison used to love using her powers. The words “I heard a rumor” glided out of her mouth a million times a day, handed out like the free samples they used to get when they snuck out to Griddy’s, served like the well practiced smile she uses on talk shows and when a fan comes up to greet her. She rumored her siblings and the bad guys alike. The method of getting out of chores and convincing one criminal to gouge their partner with the knife in hand were one and the same. The rush of power and surge of control it gave her was unmatched.

She couldn't even call it second nature. She'd been raised on her power, just like the rest of her siblings. It dictated her whole life. She didn’t realize until much later how much of a problem this was. She didn’t realize that she was addicted, that she didn’t know how to survive without it. She’d been raised on the simple fact that she was special, that she should be grateful because ordinary people don’t get the chance to be like her. She’d been praised for using and practicing and honing her rumor skills, told it was a good thing, a gift. She wasn’t told it was manipulation.

She’d rumored– No. She’d _manipulated_ a string of various people in her career, she manipulated Patrick, manipulated _Claire_.

God, she even manipulated her own sister in a way that affected her for 25 fucking years! Allison’s rumoring had practically shaped Vanya’s life, _just_ like how their father shaped their's. It didn’t matter how young they were, or that she hadn’t understood what she was doing, it still happened. She was the one to blame.

Looking back at how ecstatic she used to be about missions and training makes her sick. Queasy. Ashamed. Mad at herself. What kind of sadistic, evil person acted like that?

Allison hates her power. She hates the decisions she’s made, and she hates what she’s done with it. She hates herself even more.


End file.
